Friday, April 1, 2016

Chances Now Look Good For Forest Hills Break With City

Surprising as it is to most observers, the New York City Council has reportedly agreed to take up legislation proposed by a large segment of long-time Forest Hills residents to secede from New York City.

The movement, which has been gathering steam for several years now, spurred on by quality of life concerns like crowds of people walking on the sidewalks shopping and enjoying themselves, traffic on Austin St. and Queens Blvd., a proliferation of newfangled hamburger restaurants, a generalized fear of betterment, and the noise of laughter, was dismissed just a few years ago, in 2007—the last time the City Council considered it—as having no chance.

But at least one public official, who wished his name withheld, said this year's unusual presidential election has begun to have reverberations well beyond Washington, shaking loose long held norms, including whether the loud voice of the number of Forest Hillers seeking change should be considered by the City government. The official even admitted that as of this point, the vote, which would be held on Election Day in November, has a good chance of passing.

What happens after Forest Hills secedes from New York City is perhaps even more surprising. The legislation by the residents seeks to carve out of this area of Queens a new county of Long Island. So, Forest Hills would officially become known as Forest Hills, Long Island, as the bill's proponents have long hoped for.

Said Mary D'Angelo, 62, who has lived in Forest Hills for 45 years, "I always thought Forest Hills was part of Long Island anyway, so this really won't make much difference to me."

Since Long Island is legally not allowed to have subway connections to New York City because of arrangements with the Long Island Railroad, the City is reportedly drawing up plans to fill with cement the 71st/Continental Ave. subway station and then bulldoze it over to make room for several swing sets and a Dairy Barn.

13 comments:

  1. DRAKE.

    "A generalized fear of betterment"? I'm dying.

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  2. A part of Long Island?!? You bite your tongue, Mary D'Angelo!

    :)

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  3. haha. April Fools!

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  4. WE MUST FIGHT AGAINST THIS!!!!!

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  5. Good one, Drake! ;-)

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  6. This is too good to be true!

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  7. this is obviously an april fool's joke

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  8. I'm sure this was posted as an April Fools thing. There is NO WAY this has any meaning.

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  9. haha...as
    Trump withdraws from the Presidential race to support this movement.

    good one Drake.

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  10. Happy April Fools' Day?

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  11. You almost had me until the "fill up the subway with cement" hahahaha. Well done.

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